Video: Brilliantly Boring Transcript

CHRIS D: So uh, I ran some numbers, um… you guys might want to consider moving.

POMPEII MAN: I’ve seen worse.

CHRIS D: I doubt it.

[TITLE CARD: MEDICINE IN 1608]

LEECHES DOCTOR: These shall ease your grievous throat most readily.

CHRIS D: Or maybe a saltwater gargle.

[TITLE CARD: NAPOLEON IN 1812]

NAPOLEON: Tomorrow, we march.

CHRIS D: You do know it gets crazy cold there, right? Like crazy cold.

NAPOLEON (In French, subtitled): Off with his head.

CHRIS D: That feels like a bit of an overreaction.

[TITLE CARD: TITANIC 1912]

CHRIS D: Fog’s rolling in captain, might want to slow down.

TITANIC CAPTAIN: Rubbish! We’re cracking on.

CHRIS D: Oh we’ll be cracking all right.

[TITLE CARD: INFOMERCIAL 1961]

HERO EXCERCISER: And it shakes the weight off–

ALL EXCERCISERS: Effortlessly!

CHRIS D: You tested this?

BELT EXEC: We’re testing it now.

CHRIS D: Ok.

[TITLE CARD: AUCTION 2021]

NFT AUCTIONEER: Sold! Congratulations sir, that is a new record.

CHRIS D: You realize that jpeg doesn’t count as a financial plan, right?

NFT BUYER: M-maybe, I mean yes–

CHRIS D: No

NFT BUYER: No?

[END CARD: PNC BANK, BRILLIANTLY BORING SINCE 1865]

VO: PNC Bank believes a little boring advice goes a long way

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