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CHRIS D: So uh, I ran some numbers, um… you guys might want to consider moving.
POMPEII MAN: I’ve seen worse.
CHRIS D: I doubt it.
[TITLE CARD: MEDICINE IN 1608]
LEECHES DOCTOR: These shall ease your grievous throat most readily.
CHRIS D: Or maybe a saltwater gargle.
[TITLE CARD: NAPOLEON IN 1812]
NAPOLEON: Tomorrow, we march.
CHRIS D: You do know it gets crazy cold there, right? Like crazy cold.
NAPOLEON (In French, subtitled): Off with his head.
CHRIS D: That feels like a bit of an overreaction.
[TITLE CARD: TITANIC 1912]
CHRIS D: Fog’s rolling in captain, might want to slow down.
TITANIC CAPTAIN: Rubbish! We’re cracking on.
CHRIS D: Oh we’ll be cracking all right.
[TITLE CARD: INFOMERCIAL 1961]
HERO EXCERCISER: And it shakes the weight off–
ALL EXCERCISERS: Effortlessly!
CHRIS D: You tested this?
BELT EXEC: We’re testing it now.
CHRIS D: Ok.
[TITLE CARD: AUCTION 2021]
NFT AUCTIONEER: Sold! Congratulations sir, that is a new record.
CHRIS D: You realize that jpeg doesn’t count as a financial plan, right?
NFT BUYER: M-maybe, I mean yes–
CHRIS D: No
NFT BUYER: No?
[END CARD: PNC BANK, BRILLIANTLY BORING SINCE 1865]
VO: PNC Bank believes a little boring advice goes a long way
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